Friday, March 31, 2006


Weekend Weekend!! Time with my husband!! Time for snowboarding!!

(And an exciting development: this winter, the holidays will be with MY family, yay! Not that I don't enjoy my time with Husband's family, despite my bitching... but still, this way I'm guaranteed no drama. Plus I love my dad.)

Tuesday, March 28, 2006


So my 22 year old sister has a date tomorrow night.

With a 41 year old.


"Oh," she says, "he's good friends with Scott [also in his 20s]."

"Um," I say, "... what is a 41 year old doing hanging out with 20 year olds?"

She instantly gets defensive. "He's a good guy!"

"I don't doubt that." I reply, "That has nothing to do with the fact that he's basically twenty years older than you. I mean, what is he looking for in a 22 year old?"

Still defensive. "He thinks I'm funny."

"[Sister], just know that there are serious differences in the maturity levels of a man in his 40s and a 22 year old girl."

Still defensive.

I'm really worried for her. Just today we were talking about how all of her friends have gotten married and she feels like she's never going to get married. It makes me want to scream at her, scream that she's 22. That just because we're in fucking Provo doesn't mean she's over the hill at 22. I'm worried that she's going to settle. Settle on this fucking perv who has absolutely no business chasing 22 year old ass. Settle because he's well off and she's spoiled. Settle because she's desperate to get married. The worst part is that no one can say anything to her about it because she gets so damned defensive.

I feel sick.

To Provo: FYI

Dear Provo:

Please don't keep spending my tax money on statues and bullshit shopping malls that are supposed to be modern but with the neon d├ęcor, look simply like you brought the 80s back to life. Please spend it on the roads, because it seems that you haven't noticed that at 8am and 5pm DAILY there's this lovely gridlock phenomenon that occurs.

Dear Citizens of Provo:

You fuckers really need to learn how to yield. Also, you need to stop tailgating. ALSO, if you rear-end someone in RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC, for FUCK'S SAKE, PULL OVER!!! DON'T JUST SIT THERE IN THE LANE LIKE SOME ULTRA DUMBASS AND BLOCK HALF THE ROAD!!!

Can you tell that rush hour today sucked? Sometimes I really miss Cow Town.


Got to hang out with my sister today, which was nice since I rarely get to do that. We got our nails done... I got fakies because I'd revived my old biting-my-nails habit and getting acrylics for a month or two generally cures me of that. For awhile, at least. Plus we got to eat at PF Chang's, and I am a sucker for their honey shrimp.

AND I bought my summer swimwear... WOO, COSTA RICA. Now it's time to start tanning so that I don't get completely fried when I go down there.

Monday, March 27, 2006


I am exceedingly pissed at the Senate right now.

The immigration system definitely needs fixing, but to pat all illegal immigrants on the head and reward them for breaking the law is not the way to do it.

Crime, gangs, identity theft, all sorts of other fun things come along with illegal immigration. And for those who say that's just speculation, tell that to my aunt, whose son was murdered by an illegal immigrant who then ran back to Mexico. I'm sure it will console her greatly.


Also to my pre-marriage friend: No, your old BMW does not make you look cool. It just makes you look like you're driving an old car.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Oh, Utah...

For all my complaining, there are many things I actually enjoy about Utah. I really don't mind living here.

But there are down-sides. Mostly involving Provo. Example:

Only in Provo do people consistently drive 30 in a 45mph zone. Fuckers.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

The Man I Love

(a few of the reasons why) I love my husband:

-because he calls me "bear"
-because he came up with the concepts of circle and anti-circle
-he came home from work early yesterday to bring me crackers and ginger ale to fix my throwing up
-he cuddles me every day
-he has the cutest smile wrinkles
-he lets me tease him about his fish nipple
-he tells me he loves me every day
-he listens to me talk about my job
-he makes up songs for me and sings them to me
-at night when my feet are cold, he has me put them on his legs to warm them up
-he voluntarily watches movies like "Pride & Prejudice" and "Gone with the Wind" with me... and agrees that they're good!
- "lookin' for food, of course!"
-he loves to talk about politics with me
-even though he likes his hair short, he grows it out 'cause he knows I like it curly
-we actively plan our future together daily
-he kisses me every day before he goes to work, even though he has to wake me up to do it
-we are both terrible with money
-he scrapes my car for me
-he still sleeps in the same bed with me, even though sometimes I fart
-he surprises me with notes and flowers and gifts all the time
-he never gets impatient with me (and by never I really mean never)
-he can admit when he's wrong and is patient with me as I struggle to do the same
-he never, ever yells
-we laugh every single day
-I have never met anyone so understanding
-he tries, no matter what
-even though I have ugly days, I never am ugly to him, yet strangely he is not blind
-he makes me want to improve myself without feeling like my current self is inadequate

-for the first time in my life, I have known what it is to be loved, no matter what

Husband, you are my equal, the part of me that was missing. I love you so much. Happy Almost Second Anniversary of our wedding, and Fourth Year of being together.


Sorry for the lack of posting lately... I've been preoccupied with being sick and laying around. Blah.

Strange and miscellaneous updates:

- Brother 1 is now out of the hospital, but can't work for the next six weeks. I hope this gives him the opportunity to get to know his children, since he really didn't up til now.

- I have found that 95% of my panic attacks are school related. So no, mom, there is no fucking way I am going to grad school.

- "Crunt" sister-in-law recently referred to her hairstyle as a "queef" in a living room full of relatives. I've never seen so many people shit their pants concurrently.

- CHICKEN LITTLE got kicked off of American Idol. FINALLY. Yes, I watch; no, I'm not ashamed, and if you want to mock me, you can eat my ass.

- Speaking of eating ass, I saw a friend from my pre-marriage life a few days ago and nothing has changed- she still thinks her shit smells sweeter than the shit of others. Honey, I have news... there's a difference between having class and loudly declaring that you have class. Classy people don't have to say it, so do the world a favor and either own up to the fact that you're upper-crust white trash, or ante up and get some actual class and stop treating other people like dirt.

- Tomorrow I'm going to go skiing, and I'm kinda nervous. I'm hoping that my experience on a snowboard doesn't completely fuck me up. We'll see.

- Lately upper management has been noticing me. A good thing? Hopefully.

- I love my husband, but I'll put that all in a separate post.

- BIG news... this summer we're going to Costa Rica!! For two weeks!! Hot damn!!! I guess it's time for me to learn Spanish.... ah, all that French, gone to waste.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Sorry for the lack of posts- I've fallen ill with a lovely strep throat/vicious cold combination and have, as such, been completely laid up with absolutely fucking NOTHING to do, exept getting to miss visiting with Abby in Southern Utah, about which I am seriously pissed off. DAMN FUCKING SICKNESS.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

god be with you

Well, shit. Indeed.

Brother 1 is in the hospital tonight, with blood pressure at 250/150 and a torn carotid.

Needless to say, in the next couple of days we're heading down to Las Vegas to try and take care of his poor wife and their children.

I really hope everything turns out ok.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Mr. Taxman AND Me In Charge

Ah, taxes. We're so poor that we don't pay federal or state taxes. Period. So hello, $3,000 return! I'm so pleased to meet you! For the second year in a row! Yay for the $10,000 being-married-deductible! I love you!

(It's a guarantee we're breaking into the next tax bracket next year, so I'm sure my tune will change. But for now, heheheh.)

Also, I should apologize to Sister for doing my taxes before doing hers, because watching someone get a $3,000 return and then getting a $200 return for yourself sucks. Which she made rather clear.

Side note: There was a massive emergency at DreamJob last night at 11:00pm and the entire management of DreamJob (right up to the head honcho) has spent all day telling me how I kick ass and saved the day.