Saturday, December 24, 2005

To my brother-in-law

A long, bitter narrative dedicated to Brother 2.

On Tuesday, I went snowboarding with Husband, Brother 2, Brother 4 and Brother 4's wife. (There are five boys in Husband's family, with Husband being Brother 5. I'm sure this is all very confusing. Also, Brother 4's wife is the one who invariably does my dishes every time she comes over and reminds me that I'm going to Hell for not having children yet. Just so everyone knows who I'm talking about.)

It was very fun, except that the day before I'd fallen so hard that I spent five minutes retching, trying not to throw up into the snow. So I was a bit gun-shy, especially considering we were going to go to the back mountain, which I had never been to before. So anyways, I was the slow one. But that's ok.

Anyways, I'm really glad we got to go because Husband 2's wife, who is fat and selfish, never lets him go have fun by himself. It's a case of "Oh, I want you to have fun... but I don't want to do *that*.... and I don't want you to go do *that*.... so let's just sit at home and have NO fun instead, ok!"

I feel so bad for him. Husband and his brothers were so adventurous growing up, and now for Brother 2, who was the most adventurous of all, there's nothing. He's said privately that if it weren't for his children, especially his little genius six year old daughter, he would have divorced his wife a long time ago. How sad is that?

Also heartbreaking is that after a day of snowboarding and eating good food, Brother 2 said repeatedly that that was the most fun he had had in several years, and that had been the perfect day for him.

When he said that, my heart broke again and I wanted to fall over. I wanted to tell him that that perfect day happened several times a week for us- that it was routine. And that it could be that way for him, too.

He told his brother, my Husband, that he was jealous of our marriage, that we got to enjoy so many of the same things together. That I didn't hold him back.

I can't imagine being a wife so selfish. I can't imagine not knowing my husband's needs. I can't imagine being unwilling to work with my husband to find some middle ground. I can't imagine being trapped in that kind of a life.

Brother 2, I'm sorry. We love you.


Blogger Heather said...

I'm sorry for Brother 2 as well.


You sound like you have an awesome marriage. If more marriages were like yours, the divorce rate in the Church wouldn't be so damn high.

12:56 PM  
Blogger pengalin said...

We were just really careful and dated a long time before we got married... and also I married one of the best men ever. That part really helps.

10:03 AM  

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