Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Angry Post

To my white trash aunt J and cousin B-

Wow, you don't think I like you? YOU'RE FUCKING RIGHT- I DON'T LIKE YOU. Does that hurt your poor baby feelings? Enough that you've actually taken time out of manipulating and bilking our poor grandparents for all they're worth to complain about the fact that I'm not nice enough to you when I see you????

Well tough shit for you. I am cordial and polite every time I see you, as opposed to acting like I really want to- to berate you for your selfish trashy lives and then pointing at you and laughing at your appearances.

Aunt J, 45 year old women should not be wearing eyebrow piercings. Especially if you hope to have a respectable job in a hospital. Yes, I know this is the last year you plan on being on welfare, even though you have a college degree. But the piercing - I know you want to feel young again, but that's really not the way to go. Instead, try to lose some weight. 45 year old women shouldn't weigh upwards of 350 lbs. And stop the bullshit about how it's all because you had caesarean sections. That just means you'll probably never have much of a six-pack. But the fat? Come ON J, I've seen you eat. Oh, and by the way, your morbidly obese 10 year old? Yeah, she's your fault too, from feeding her the same amount of food you feed yourself. And if all of those late night calls that I answered to help you with "computer problems" that really turn out to be idiocy problems don't count as being kind to you, well, sorry. We're just plain out of kindness here.

Cousin B. Ah, Cousin B. I'm not treating you well enough? I don't treat you like a peer, like someone I respect? GET THE FUCK WITH THE PROGRAM. You have ALWAYS hated me. For being born to the father with money. For not breaking the rules in my teenager years, which let me escape my teens without getting pregnant or becoming a slave to drugs. For graduating from high school. For being about to graduate from college. For being in a happy marriage, one where I don't feel compelled to cheat on my white husband with another man, leaving my husband a very interesting surprise in the delivery room where I give birth to a very brown baby. For not showing up at my great-uncle's funeral dressed like a hooker with said brown baby in tow. For not having 5 children by the time I was 24. For not having the need to extort my grandparents. For STILL HAVING ALL OF MY TEETH.


YOU. Not society, not your mom, not anything else. YOU decided to start doing meth when you were 12. YOU decided to not give up your children for adoption where they would have actually had a chance of having half-decent parents. YOU decided not to graduate from high school OR get your GED.

Don't get pissed off at me when you see me with things you don't have. Don't complain about how unfair it is, or how I should be nicer to you because your life is hard.

FIX YOUR OWN DAMN LIFE. It's not my fault you wear a full set of dentures at 25.

Oh, and one more fuck off, this one to my grandparents. Don't bitch about the problems B and J cause you and then refuse to cut off contact with them. I'm sorry, but you should've drawn the line WAY before they hit the $50,000 mark of getting money from you a decade ago.

And grandma and grandpa- don't you DARE ask me why I can't lose weight as fast as B... you know, it would be easy for me to do if I did as much meth and crack as she did. But Webster's already has a picture of B next to the definition of "crack whore". They don't need another addition from our family.


Post a Comment

<< Home