Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Sometimes I hate parts of myself.

I am a morning person.

On most days, I wake up and get up right away, excited to face a new day and not wanting to waste one minute of sunlight.

Then there are the days like today. Days where I'm awake, but I lay in bed with my eyes shut, wishing I could fall asleep so I wouldn't have to get up and face it. Whatever it happens to be. In most cases, it is nothing at all. I hate those days. They remind me of high school. They remind me of depression.

It's been years and years since I was officially "depressed". It's been years and years since I've had to take medicine for it. It's been years and years since I managed to reclaim my life, a life I'd never fully claimed to begin with.

So damn these days where I'd rather be sleeping than doing anything else. Damn them straight to hell.


I'm going to go outside and play in the sun.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

mmmm. sunshine is always good for making those sorts of things better.

take care of your lovely self, hon. Wish I could give you a big Pennsylvania hug. Okay, so I don't know what a Pennsylvania hug is, but I like the sound of it so I wanted to write it.

love you.

~chee

12:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you so much.... I imagine that a Pennsylvania hug is akin to the Pennsylvania Polka. The husband still doesn't believe that Pennsylvania *has* its own polka, much less that they made us learn it in gym.

Anyhow, thank you for your love... it's funny how no matter how much we change or grow, we still understand and love eachother. THAT is what true love and friendship are.

-pengalin

3:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude, the freakin' Pennsylvania Polka. Fortunately, people in Wisconsin are actually pretty adept at the polka (good german heritage out here), or at least so I've seen from the one or two weddings I've been to. So most folks here are like, "oh, you had to learn the polka in high school? Me too!"

Freaks.

5:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Seriously. They made us learn archery, bowling and golf in gym, too. Oh, and badminton. However the hell you spell it.

-pengalin

7:51 PM  

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